The dragonflies were always there. I just wasn’t looking for them. Here’s what that taught me about mindset, moods and the power of choosing what to notice.
Today I want to share something incredibly simple that can genuinely change how you experience your life.
Recently, I made a little children’s book about dragonflies for my grandson. It was so much fun to make, all these amazing facts, the most colorful book you’ve ever seen.
And you know what happened after I made it?
I started seeing dragonflies everywhere.
They were probably there all along. Maybe it was even the right season for them. But because dragonflies were now on my mind, my brain started noticing them.
You’ve probably experienced this too. When you’re thinking about buying a new car or you just bought one, you suddenly notice that same car everywhere. It was on the road all along, but now your brain is tuned to see it.
Here’s the truth, gorgeous. Your brain does this with everything.
Your brain finds what you tell it to look for
When you focus on what’s wrong, what’s frustrating you, what you don’t have, or what you wish were different, your brain gets really good at finding more evidence of those things.
But when you intentionally begin looking for what’s good, what’s beautiful, what’s working, what you’re grateful for, your brain starts noticing more of that, too.
This isn’t magic. It’s biology. Your brain is constantly filtering millions of pieces of information every second and it uses your focus as the filter. Whatever you tell it to look fo, that’s what it hands back to you.
What you focus on expands.
Moods are like the weather
Here’s something really important to remember when it comes to healthier moods.
The mood you’re in right now, it’s like the weather. It isn’t something you have to stay in.
You have a choice in what you focus on next.
Now, you may not choose the first feeling that shows up. Something happens, and you immediately feel disappointed. Irritated. Worried. Sad. That’s normal and human.
But you get to choose what you do with that feeling.
You can keep feeding it with your thoughts and your attention or you can gently shift your focus and choose something different.
What the Dalai Lama teaches about joy
The Dalai Lama has spoken extensively about choosing joy and cultivating inner peace, even in the midst of tremendous hardship.
His life is a powerful reminder that joy doesn’t require everything around us to be perfect.
Think about that for a moment. Joy doesn’t require perfect circumstances. It doesn’t require everything to be resolved. It doesn’t require the hard thing to go away. It just requires us to intentionally direct our focus toward what’s beautiful, even when the hard thing is still there.
That’s a game changer. Just take that in.
The practice of acceptance
One of the most powerful practices we can develop is acceptance.
And I want to be clear, acceptance doesn’t mean we like everything that’s happening. It doesn’t mean we don’t take action to change what we can.
It means we stop fighting with what is.
I love this so much. When we can say, this is where I am right now. This is what’s happening right now. And I get to choose where I put my attention next, we begin to take back our power over our moods.
Mindset matters, beautiful. Our circumstances don’t have to determine how we feel for the rest of the day.
My personal line in the sand
I’ve noticed something for myself. When I start thinking about something that doesn’t really serve me, something that’s just going to spiral me into a worse mood, I just say:
“I am not going there.”
I’m not going there. And I draw a line in the sand.
Then I redirect my focus somewhere else. Something beautiful. Something I’m grateful for. Something that makes me smile.
It sounds simple, but it’s one of the most powerful practices I’ve built into my daily life.
Your hot hormone tip for this week
Here’s what I want you to try, gorgeous.
Pay attention to what you’re paying attention to.
If you don’t like the mood you’re in right now, ask yourself two questions:
- What am I focusing on?
- What could I choose to focus on instead?
Look for the dragonflies. Look for the beautiful sunset. Look for the person who makes you smile. Look for what your body is doing well. Look for something to appreciate, even on a difficult day.
Because what you focus on expands.
And every time you intentionally redirect your attention toward something good, you’re practicing the ability to create more joy, more gratitude, more peace, and more contentment in your life.
Your mood can shift. Your focus can shift. And when you realize how much choice you actually have in that, everything changes.
Key takeaways
— What you focus on expands, your brain finds more evidence of whatever you tell it to look for
— Moods are like the weather, you don’t have to stay in the one you’re in
— Your first feeling isn’t your final feeling, you get to choose what you do with it
— Joy doesn’t require perfect circumstances (the Dalai Lama’s teaching)
— Acceptance means we stop fighting with what is, not that we like everything
— The simple practice: “Pay attention to what you’re paying attention to”
You’re not doing this alone
Building a mindset practice is so much easier when you have women walking alongside you, women choosing joy, choosing focus, choosing themselves every day.
That’s what we’ve built inside NHS Circle. Small daily practices. Real community. Weekly guidance from my team. It’s where women learn to shift their moods, their mindset, and their whole experience of life.
Small steps. Real support. Every week.
Love,
Robin xo
